"I am," I said
To no one there, And no one heard at all,
Not even the chair,
"I am," I cried "I am," said I
And I am lost, and I can't even say why
Leavin' me lonely still
Did you ever read about a frog who dreamed of bein' a king
And then became one,
Well except for the names and a few other changes,
If you talk about me, the story's the same one
But I got an emptiness deep inside,
And I've tried, but it won't let me go,
And I'm not a man who likes to swear,
But I never cared for the sound of being alone."
This Neil Diamond song very vividly captures my exact frame of mind as I lay on the couch on a dreary Friday night.
Saturday, July 12, 2008
How much is too much?
How much is too much?
Very often I have encountered these situations wherein – especially in a relationship – I’ve found myself asking this question, “How much is too much?”
So really, how much is too much? How much of trying is too much trying? How much love is too much love? How much trust is too much trust? How much sex is too much sex?
Seems like a real head-scratcher, this one. But the fact is that especially in todays busy urban lives, the propensity of one partner starting to feel that he / she is getting screwed over, is way too much.
So what makes us reach this “emotional threshold”? Is it paranoia of not feeling “loved” enough? Is it the unearthly realization one morning over coffee that the one person you consider most important counts you after his / her shoeshine?
.
Human Needs Psychology advocates that people have different priorities in life and the order in which you are priorities are, shape all your choices and decisions. So how long does it take us mere urban mortals to realize that even though we may try our best to knock down some doors, they would not open till the right combination is keyed in.
I guess it takes the incoherent proclivity of “following ones’ heart” to realize these defunct absolutions.
Very often I have encountered these situations wherein – especially in a relationship – I’ve found myself asking this question, “How much is too much?”
So really, how much is too much? How much of trying is too much trying? How much love is too much love? How much trust is too much trust? How much sex is too much sex?
Seems like a real head-scratcher, this one. But the fact is that especially in todays busy urban lives, the propensity of one partner starting to feel that he / she is getting screwed over, is way too much.
So what makes us reach this “emotional threshold”? Is it paranoia of not feeling “loved” enough? Is it the unearthly realization one morning over coffee that the one person you consider most important counts you after his / her shoeshine?
.
Human Needs Psychology advocates that people have different priorities in life and the order in which you are priorities are, shape all your choices and decisions. So how long does it take us mere urban mortals to realize that even though we may try our best to knock down some doors, they would not open till the right combination is keyed in.
I guess it takes the incoherent proclivity of “following ones’ heart” to realize these defunct absolutions.
Sunday, July 6, 2008
Happy to Help ????
It's been less than 24 hours since my last post yesterday evening and I'm overwhelmed with the response that my "debut" blog has received from fellow 'netizens'.
While I've been contemplating the exact reason as to why I felt so euphoric after the session at my school, I've been thinking about a few other things as well. Namely, my mobile phone.
Why my mobile phone? Good question. I've been trying to get an issue that I was facing with my operator resolved over the weekend without much success. So while I have hordes of ardent blog followers who want to get in touch with me (or so I'd like to believe) I've not been able to get "uninterrupted" service as promised by my operator. So here I am on the phone once again, bellowing at the hapless "Customer Service Executive" who apparently was "Happy to Help" - that is till she received my call!
Here are the 'explicit' details, firsthand!
10:30PM, Saturday night.
Welcome to Vodafone, my name is Suvidha, happy to help you...
I don't think you are, this is the 4th time I'm calling you today and my phone still isn't working....see I’m someone who needs my phone.... (interrupted)
Can you please verify your billing address???
I've done this before (so there I go with my billing address AND my date of birth because I know that would be the next question...)
Thank you for that information and sir can you please give me your date of birth?
I just did! Didn't you hear me???? Why do I need to give that you again????
Sir, you gave it to me when I did not ask you for it. For our verification, it is important that you give it to me again.
(Losing it, bit by bit) Why should I do that! You did not hear me that's your problem!
Sir, if you want me to help you, please cooperate!
(By now completely furious) I want to talk to your manager please.
Sorry sir, you can't talk to my manager!
Why not????
Sir, it's against our policies.
(Aghast) Against your policies??? I'm a customer and I'm pissed. I want to talk to someone who understands what I'm saying!
Sir, if you do not cooperate, I will have to disconnect the call.
What the %$#@! You can't do that.....
My phone flashes "Call Summary 00:09:23"
That's it I thought! I've had enough of this. And just as I was going to redial the number for customer service, I realized, it wasn't her fault. She wasn't trained well. Now these are limitations of being from the training and development fraternity. We tend to be highly critical of even the slightest of indifference / slackness in service and tend to pile the blame onto training. How true is that? I began to wonder. How much can training do? How much of a difference does training make?
With that thought I sign off. My next post would have more...
Keep reading :)
While I've been contemplating the exact reason as to why I felt so euphoric after the session at my school, I've been thinking about a few other things as well. Namely, my mobile phone.
Why my mobile phone? Good question. I've been trying to get an issue that I was facing with my operator resolved over the weekend without much success. So while I have hordes of ardent blog followers who want to get in touch with me (or so I'd like to believe) I've not been able to get "uninterrupted" service as promised by my operator. So here I am on the phone once again, bellowing at the hapless "Customer Service Executive" who apparently was "Happy to Help" - that is till she received my call!
Here are the 'explicit' details, firsthand!
10:30PM, Saturday night.
Welcome to Vodafone, my name is Suvidha, happy to help you...
I don't think you are, this is the 4th time I'm calling you today and my phone still isn't working....see I’m someone who needs my phone.... (interrupted)
Can you please verify your billing address???
I've done this before (so there I go with my billing address AND my date of birth because I know that would be the next question...)
Thank you for that information and sir can you please give me your date of birth?
I just did! Didn't you hear me???? Why do I need to give that you again????
Sir, you gave it to me when I did not ask you for it. For our verification, it is important that you give it to me again.
(Losing it, bit by bit) Why should I do that! You did not hear me that's your problem!
Sir, if you want me to help you, please cooperate!
(By now completely furious) I want to talk to your manager please.
Sorry sir, you can't talk to my manager!
Why not????
Sir, it's against our policies.
(Aghast) Against your policies??? I'm a customer and I'm pissed. I want to talk to someone who understands what I'm saying!
Sir, if you do not cooperate, I will have to disconnect the call.
What the %$#@! You can't do that.....
My phone flashes "Call Summary 00:09:23"
That's it I thought! I've had enough of this. And just as I was going to redial the number for customer service, I realized, it wasn't her fault. She wasn't trained well. Now these are limitations of being from the training and development fraternity. We tend to be highly critical of even the slightest of indifference / slackness in service and tend to pile the blame onto training. How true is that? I began to wonder. How much can training do? How much of a difference does training make?
With that thought I sign off. My next post would have more...
Keep reading :)
Saturday, July 5, 2008
Life, The Leveler !
Every now and then, just when you felt that nothing “dramatic” could happen to you, there are incidents / moments that not only change your perspective on the present but very radically influence the way you shape the future.
Since time immemorial, I’ve believed that man discovered fire and Ritwik discovered playing with it. (Quite literally!) They say “Lives of great men all remind us that we must make our lives sublime and departing leave behind footprints in the sands of time.” Well in todays’ urbane day and age, sand or even the presence of it is limited to hourglasses – if you are fortunate enough to spot these relics!
Talking of an hourglass, this week, I experienced what I term the “hourglass effect” in my life. Let me elucidate on what I imply by the patented “hourglass effect”!
Friday, 4th of July 2008, 232 years after the United States of America experienced a sea change and was overnight catapulted into the unrelenting “jaws of freedom and sovereignty”, I witnessed a similar (if only metaphorically) transition. At 10.30am IST, I actually was standing in the auditorium of St. Anne’s High School, Mumbai and this time there was a role reversal. Far from being the “receiver”, this time around I was the provider! I was there for a seminar on what the principal very candidly christened “Life Skills”.
As a peak performance coach and a Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) practitioner, I was there to identify behavioral patterns that make us tick, that makes us succeed.
So there I was, trying very hard to be ‘nonchalant’ as I saw a sea of students file in. With notebooks clutched in their hands and expressions of pure innocence etched on their faces – BANG there I was again. Instantaneously, I was back to my school days, the days of yore as I fondly refer to them as! I remembered that in that same auditorium I had (as a contestant) borne witness to myriad elocution competitions, debates and the works.
And then, out of nowhere, the sights, the sounds, the “clickety-clack” plastic chairs, the squeaky microphone brought back that hollow feeling in me, the feeling of adrenalin running loose through every millimeter of my body. I thought to myself, how was this possible? I mean after having trained scores of people from various backgrounds, Vice Presidents and CEOs of companies, here I was in front of a few hundred 14 – 15 year olds and I was nervous?
I haven’t still been able to figure out whether I was nervous because of the venue and the props or was it because I was in my school, in front of teachers who had watched me grow up, in that very auditorium where I had received numerous accolades and savored many famous victories. But one thing that dawned on me right then and there was that no matter how much headway one makes in life, or no matter how many hurdles one may have crossed in ones’ life, no matter how many matches a sportsman may have won in his life, the arena where it all had started for you, will always bring back that rush.
So as I cleared my throat and welcomed the crowd that had gathered there, I was constantly talking to myself.
Damn! There I was, an “accomplished life skills coach” and I was palpitating! (Not to mention the profuse perspiration) I couldn’t fathom or digest the fact that being someone who coaches others on performance management and peak performance crests; I was not being able to practice what I preach! I had to do this well. For no one else but for myself. I had to prove to myself that I shall overcome!
As I began with introducing myself, I couldn’t but help notice that my “worldly” credentials meant nothing as I stood there, amidst a few hundred gaping students. I bet they were wondering what this bald guy with a French beard, who’s probably walked straight out of a Ramsay Brothers movie, would teach them. The ‘mistrust’ was palpable. The youthful energy, more so.
I realized that my first task would be to win over their faith and to build the kind of rapport that would be necessary, if I were to ensure even one percent retention.
The rapport building was not difficult I noticed. I was instantaneously myself. I was the ‘Ritwik of yore!’ The kind of raw, vibrant energy that I felt made me feel so powerful. There I was. Amidst déjà vu.
I don’t know how the next three hours just went by. I pulled out anecdotes from nowhere. I felt myself to be one of the crowd. I guess that did half the job.
I didn’t realize I was very close to the “end time”, when I hard the buzzer go.
As I concluded the session, and walked off the stage amidst the thunderous applause, I couldn’t figure out what exactly made me feel so ecstatic. Was it the venue, was it the sheer experience of watching your teachers listen to you with rapt attention – the same teachers who once rebuked you for NOT paying attention.
I am still trying to figure that out, even as I type.
Any suggestions???? :)
Since time immemorial, I’ve believed that man discovered fire and Ritwik discovered playing with it. (Quite literally!) They say “Lives of great men all remind us that we must make our lives sublime and departing leave behind footprints in the sands of time.” Well in todays’ urbane day and age, sand or even the presence of it is limited to hourglasses – if you are fortunate enough to spot these relics!
Talking of an hourglass, this week, I experienced what I term the “hourglass effect” in my life. Let me elucidate on what I imply by the patented “hourglass effect”!
Friday, 4th of July 2008, 232 years after the United States of America experienced a sea change and was overnight catapulted into the unrelenting “jaws of freedom and sovereignty”, I witnessed a similar (if only metaphorically) transition. At 10.30am IST, I actually was standing in the auditorium of St. Anne’s High School, Mumbai and this time there was a role reversal. Far from being the “receiver”, this time around I was the provider! I was there for a seminar on what the principal very candidly christened “Life Skills”.
As a peak performance coach and a Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) practitioner, I was there to identify behavioral patterns that make us tick, that makes us succeed.
So there I was, trying very hard to be ‘nonchalant’ as I saw a sea of students file in. With notebooks clutched in their hands and expressions of pure innocence etched on their faces – BANG there I was again. Instantaneously, I was back to my school days, the days of yore as I fondly refer to them as! I remembered that in that same auditorium I had (as a contestant) borne witness to myriad elocution competitions, debates and the works.
And then, out of nowhere, the sights, the sounds, the “clickety-clack” plastic chairs, the squeaky microphone brought back that hollow feeling in me, the feeling of adrenalin running loose through every millimeter of my body. I thought to myself, how was this possible? I mean after having trained scores of people from various backgrounds, Vice Presidents and CEOs of companies, here I was in front of a few hundred 14 – 15 year olds and I was nervous?
I haven’t still been able to figure out whether I was nervous because of the venue and the props or was it because I was in my school, in front of teachers who had watched me grow up, in that very auditorium where I had received numerous accolades and savored many famous victories. But one thing that dawned on me right then and there was that no matter how much headway one makes in life, or no matter how many hurdles one may have crossed in ones’ life, no matter how many matches a sportsman may have won in his life, the arena where it all had started for you, will always bring back that rush.
So as I cleared my throat and welcomed the crowd that had gathered there, I was constantly talking to myself.
Damn! There I was, an “accomplished life skills coach” and I was palpitating! (Not to mention the profuse perspiration) I couldn’t fathom or digest the fact that being someone who coaches others on performance management and peak performance crests; I was not being able to practice what I preach! I had to do this well. For no one else but for myself. I had to prove to myself that I shall overcome!
As I began with introducing myself, I couldn’t but help notice that my “worldly” credentials meant nothing as I stood there, amidst a few hundred gaping students. I bet they were wondering what this bald guy with a French beard, who’s probably walked straight out of a Ramsay Brothers movie, would teach them. The ‘mistrust’ was palpable. The youthful energy, more so.
I realized that my first task would be to win over their faith and to build the kind of rapport that would be necessary, if I were to ensure even one percent retention.
The rapport building was not difficult I noticed. I was instantaneously myself. I was the ‘Ritwik of yore!’ The kind of raw, vibrant energy that I felt made me feel so powerful. There I was. Amidst déjà vu.
I don’t know how the next three hours just went by. I pulled out anecdotes from nowhere. I felt myself to be one of the crowd. I guess that did half the job.
I didn’t realize I was very close to the “end time”, when I hard the buzzer go.
As I concluded the session, and walked off the stage amidst the thunderous applause, I couldn’t figure out what exactly made me feel so ecstatic. Was it the venue, was it the sheer experience of watching your teachers listen to you with rapt attention – the same teachers who once rebuked you for NOT paying attention.
I am still trying to figure that out, even as I type.
Any suggestions???? :)
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